No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
