OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We left an ass print on the piano.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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