google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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