Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
