Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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