I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize