fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize