What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
They have beer where we have blood.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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