I look better un-naked...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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