Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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