I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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