More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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