I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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