He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
