this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
