i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
