worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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