Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
