you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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