everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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