i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
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for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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