It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
