i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
