I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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