I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
