...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize