I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
