you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
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