ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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