I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
