sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
