i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
