I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Houston, we have a squirter
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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