Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
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I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.