I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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