Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
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If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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