you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
