I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
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would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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