shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize