What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
