Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
