No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize