I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
