My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
