i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize