I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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