Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
