I CAN MOONWALK!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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