new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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