matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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