I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
