Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
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What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
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I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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