i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
