As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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