Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
